Being a dad to two daughters is such an adventure. To be honest, I was a little unsure at first when we learned we were having a baby girl. My wife and I already had three boys and I felt I had a pretty good grasp on what that was supposed to look like. But now, a girl? That means bows and dolls and… the color pink in our house!
Looking back, it is interesting to note the new and tender but ferocious emotion I felt to protect my baby girl. As I’ve talked to other dads through the years, this desire for the safety of my daughters is pretty universal (and necessary). But what I’ve learned is that it’s not enough to just have a vague idea of “wanting the best” for my daughters—I need to have a plan.
Most of us think very intentionally about our children’s schooling and athletics and safety and manners and holidays, but are we just as intentional in planning out and communicating and emphasizing and praying through their spiritual formation? And I’m talking more than just church attendance or making sure they believe in Jesus. Those are important, but they are not sufficient.
What are the specific godly character traits you’re wanting her to develop? What vision of reality should she possess so she’s not just an echo of her culture? Is she learning both what and why she believes as she does?
Here’s an example of God’s perspective from 1 Peter 3:3-4: “Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear,” (three things girls/women can often be distracted by) “but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.”
So, this begs two simple questions: First, is God’s definition of true beauty the same as your definition? And second, how are you communicating this to your daughter and helping guide her in that direction? Contrary to what our culture tells our daughters, this is inside-out beauty that flows from a heart centered on and moving towards Jesus. And if this is our goal, it should radically influence our plans and prayers and priorities.
Hear more from Chris this February as he speaks at the Forge Father Daughter Retreat! To find out more about this event, visit https://www.pinecove.com/info/forge-father-daughter-retreat/.
Posted Nov 19, 2019