If the Winter Olympics Were at Pine Cove

We are really big fans of the Olympics around Pine Cove. This should come as no surprise, since at camp we can turn anything into good, healthy competition. (Did someone say “Pit ‘n’ Palace?”)

Admittedly, it’s a little easier for most of us to relate to the Summer Olympics, because hey, they’ve got pools, and we’ve got pools! They’ve got kayaks, we’ve got kayaks! They’ve got basketballs, we’ve got basketballs! They’ve got tennis courts, we’ve got… pickleball!

But what about the Winter Olympics? Granted, most of us hail from the south, and we’ve never tried ski jumping. We have to Google the “Nordic combined” event every time. But what if Pine Cove hosted the Winter Olympics? What would our events be?

Of course, we would have to wait for a snowy Texas or South Carolina day for these events to work. (And we’d let people wear jackets and wetsuits for these events. We’re not savages!)

Here’s what we’re thinking:

• Alpine Skiing: Head down the zipline—wearing skis! We throw frisbees at you and you get scored based on how many you can catch. The skis are just for looks.
• Biathlon: Grab your mountain bike and race to skeet shooting to hit your targets.
• Bobsleigh: Hello, super cold water rocket races!
• Cross Country Skiing: Taking some liberties here, this event would become “Warball on Ice.” We like it.
• Curling: As a crowd favorite, we would obviously up the stakes and perform this event on horseback. Yes, the horses will get to wear blankets.
• Figure Skating: How many triple axels can you do at the wake park?
• Ice Hockey: The slick track is probably extra slick with all the ice, and each driver has a hockey stick. What could go wrong?
• Luge*: You’ve seen our giant water slides, right? Brr.
• Speed Skating: Race up the (frozen) climbing wall. It’s a good thing you’ll be clipped in. Belay on!
• Ski Jumping: How many tricks can you perform when you get blobbed? (No, we don’t know how the blob will hold up when covered in snow. Go big or go home!)
• Snowboarding: Bike jump off the dock into a snow-covered lake. Points for creativity. Boom.

These ideas have not been approved (or even seen) by our safety team. But we think it would be seriously fun! Winter Olympics at Pine Cove in 2022, anyone?

*Fun fact: Did you know our Timbers Director, “Philly,” once trained on the Junior Olympics team for the Luge? Some of his training mates will be competing for Team USA this year!