One of my biggest failures as a dad is how often I’ve wished away the parenting years. At first I couldn’t wait until my kids slept through the night. Then I couldn’t wait until they were out of diapers. After that I couldn’t wait until our oldest (twins) went to school. Then I was ready for all four to go school. When they could babysit themselves. When they could drive. And now when they leave the house and go to college.
Sometimes I look around and just wish it all away. I wish we didn’t have 25 used cups in the sink and 10 more in the drying rack. I wish we didn’t need to do laundry every day or run another load of dishes. Sometimes I just want a weekend without soccer or basketball games from sunup to sundown. I know no athletic scholarships are coming our way, so why do we even bother?
For my first twelve years as a dad I wished it all away for the next season. So many times I’ve thought that even though I always love my kids, I just don’t always like them. I knew what I was supposed to believe, and I felt guilty that I didn’t see my kids as a gift from the Lord (Psalm 127:3).
Even worse, I often looked around at my friends. I compared my life and my kids to theirs, and sometimes wanted to trade.
A few years ago, my attitude began to change. As I watched a few friends start sending their kids to college, and as I grew in my relationship with my kids, God began to transform my heart. In Ephesians 5:15-17, Paul writes, “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.”
Instead of wishing it away, I’m trying to embrace today’s season with my kids, knowing He’s probably trying to teach me something and I know I don’t want to miss it! I want to make the most of every opportunity.
Now I look ahead and realize I have less than three more summers with my boys before they (probably) leave our house. Instead of wishing away the seasons, I now wish I had them back.
The first real memory I have of my kids is when I held Duncan against my chest. He had a full head of hair and curled up into a tiny ball on my chest. Today, Duncan, one of our twins, is taller than me. He still has a full head of hair, but it would be really weird for me to try to hold him against my chest.
I’m not going to lie—those early years were rough! It’s often said, “The days are long but the years are short.” I’m feeling it. The years are short. Embrace today’s season instead of wishing it all away.
Happy Father’s Day, Dads. Embrace today’s season.
Scott & Kristen Kedersha have been married since 2001 and have four boys. Scott has served as a marriage pastor at Watermark Community Church in Dallas, Texas since 2006. They’ve been family campers for the past five summers and this year have boys at the Shores, Ranch, and Towers. Scott writes about marriage, parenting, leadership and, and much more at ScottKedersha.com. His first book, Ready or Knot? 12 Conversations Every Couple Needs to Have before Marriage came out in February 2019.
Posted Jun 11, 2019